Still Here

I haven't posted in a while. Life just is drifting on. Skunk still struggles daily, Bear still puts up with a crying, shrieking sister and a sad, tired mom. The weather is pretty but we are stuck inside much of the time. Life seems to conspire to cause my babies difficulty and I pray for the endurance to last through the fallout. Posting it here just seems to reinforce the overwhelming nature of what I live with daily. So, I usually don't want to process it and write it down.

School is going better with time4learning.com and Bear. At least we are not strictly unschooling and she is not stagnating. Bear actually likes that the computer "grades" her work and someone else explains it to her besides me. So that is a positive. She is growing and is so long legged it is crazy. I can't believe that she is eight and so big. And then she does irresponsible stuff and I just want to cry. Such is life.

Skunk is getting big too. I don't know how big 'cause we haven't weighed in a while. But her size 80 pj's are fitting right now and will be too small before winter is half over. I am so thankful for her but I do remain flat on my face in prayer parts of every day. Guess that is the purpose though... She is starting to use a spoon a little decently and it is nice that she feeds herself ice chips like her big sister.

Beautiful

My girls are beautiful...


and so is the weather this week. Fall has finally come and we have been going outside some. But Skunk has not been sleeping either. So we stayed inside yesterday and she slept much better last night. I am so, so sad that Skunk reacts just like Bear used to do with going outside. This allergy and sensitivity stuff just stinks so much.

Long Day

Yet another day that both girls are struggling. These just show up out of the blue but I had two tearful, clingy girls today. Makes me sad but I am so glad they are mine. I just want to protect and keep them safe from all this crap that makes them feel so bad.

Please, God, help me to trust in your inscrutable wisdom and to be able continue to walk and not faint.

Sitting

The little girl figured out how to sit down in a chair this afternoon. I noticed her sitting on the window sill in the living room (about 12 inches from the floor). Then this evening, she backed up to her rocking chair and sat on the edge. Then scooted her way back until feet off the floor and grinning like a cheshire cat. She is very pleased with herself that she doesn't have to crawl up into the chair and try to turn around and get her legs back out the front.

Bear went to her first ballet class tonight and was so nervous this afternoon. She could hardly eat supper due to being nervous and talking about being anxious. She came home raving and explaining all about her class and can't wait for next week. Computer Man did get a pic of her in her ballet outfit and I will post when I get the camera back.

They are growing up quickly but then Skunk goes and refuses to eat a couple times and it makes me crazy. I want to enjoy her being little but it is so darn hard and she is so sensitive.

Holding Hands

We played in the wading pool yesterday and Skunk was so cute. She got so excited about the squirrels in the yard and wanted to go and see them. She is toddling so much better that I offered her my hand and we walked across the yard. It is still easier to just pick her up and go but fun to hold her hand and walk in the grass. She loves to play in the water and splash and play with Bear. They had a great time. Today we baked and it got up to 87 in the hallway (bet it was 90 or more in the kitchen). Time will tell how things go tonight. She did ok this afternoon but was very screechy and hitting tonight. She went to bed in time for Bear and I to read a little while on the Silver Chair.
These girls are so precious.

Off to wash dishes and finish the laundry.

Why

Why does this have to be so hard? I am trying to be thankful but every day is just hard. Crying, hitting, fussy girls (big and little) and the little one is constantly tired but can't sleep. I am so thankful to have them but every day is a struggle to survive. Father help me to walk and not faint. Be my strength in the night (and day)!

Kisses

The Skunk is giving kisses. She is so sweet and loves to snuggle/pat and hug. On Monday, she started leaning over and giving sweet little kisses - not drool-y messes but sweet heart tugging kisses. I have cried multiple times each day as she just loves on me, Computer Man and Bear. What beautiful joy! Thank you God for the sweet times!

We went swimming again today. Bear and Skunk both love it so much. Bear is putting her face in the water and getting more and more comfortable. Skunk is splashing and loving just being in the water with me. Wears me out but they have so much fun! What a blessing this has turned out to be for us.