And the day after

My beloved basset hound got sick this weekend. She was not tolerating fluids or eating starting on Saturday afternoon. Last night, we went to the emergency vet clinic. A compassionate and kind vet (a gift from God) found out that she had a huge tumor in her belly and it was pressing on her stomach and intestines. We had her put to sleep at the vet last night and I have just basically cried since then. She went downhill in the span of 24 hours. We just couldn't watch her suffer and struggle to breath and not be able to drink any longer.

She is/was my first child, cuddled me through infertility twice, loved me even when I couldn't spend nearly enough time with her due to dd's extreme illness one summer. She is the doggy love of my life and to lose her is so painful. I have been dreading losing her but was praying that we would have more time with her. We had her for nine years and she was the best dog.


Amy spent all day with H and I since we homeschool. Words cannot express how much my heart is aching. Everywhere I look in the house and out are reminders of her. We are going to bury her when T gets home this afternoon. I have spent the morning crying and dd has as well. I miss her so much, her sweet kind spirit lying next to me on my feet as I sit. How much can a mama cry? I was up most of the night, just unable to sleep. Sad because Amy isn't really home anymore. Somehow I am not even very tired today, even on 4-5 hours of sleep. I knew that I would miss her but this is just so so hard.