Molly (basset #2) has gone down the hill in the backyard for the last time. My heart hurts so, so much. She had a big tumor behind her right scapula. We bought time with chronic pain meds since February. She started limping in January and got worse and could hardly walk. She couldn't hardly get out the front door to pee, much less down her back stairs into her beloved yard. But a sweet vet said we could medicate and give her a few more months. She was able to walk our street, jump on the couch (where she slept) and happy trot with treats and Himalayan cheese sticks. She ate so many green beans, carrots, zucchini trimmings, broccoli stumps (trees of doom), blueberries, strawberries. Lots of rolling in the yard, running like a young(er) dog again. Made my heart sing though I knew the end was coming.
This week was the week that it got so much worse again. She couldn't get up on the couch to sleep. The last two to three days, she just paced the floor and couldn't get comfortable, even on her meds. She couldn't get up on her big barker bed in our bedroom to sleep, only her flatter mattress in the living room. Making the decision to love her enough to let her go has been heart breaking. We took her to our vet yesterday morning to let her rest peacefully. I held her, told her I loved her so, so much as she snored and went to sleep. My heart is just breaking in grief. I keep telling myself that great sorrow comes from great love.
My sorrow runs deep.
