Sunday, October 31, 2010

Still Here

I haven't posted in a while. Life just is drifting on. Skunk still struggles daily, Bear still puts up with a crying, shrieking sister and a sad, tired mom. The weather is pretty but we are stuck inside much of the time. Life seems to conspire to cause my babies difficulty and I pray for the endurance to last through the fallout. Posting it here just seems to reinforce the overwhelming nature of what I live with daily. So, I usually don't want to process it and write it down.

School is going better with and Bear. At least we are not strictly unschooling and she is not stagnating. Bear actually likes that the computer "grades" her work and someone else explains it to her besides me. So that is a positive. She is growing and is so long legged it is crazy. I can't believe that she is eight and so big. And then she does irresponsible stuff and I just want to cry. Such is life.

Skunk is getting big too. I don't know how big 'cause we haven't weighed in a while. But her size 80 pj's are fitting right now and will be too small before winter is half over. I am so thankful for her but I do remain flat on my face in prayer parts of every day. Guess that is the purpose though... She is starting to use a spoon a little decently and it is nice that she feeds herself ice chips like her big sister.

Thursday, September 30, 2010


My girls are beautiful...

and so is the weather this week. Fall has finally come and we have been going outside some. But Skunk has not been sleeping either. So we stayed inside yesterday and she slept much better last night. I am so, so sad that Skunk reacts just like Bear used to do with going outside. This allergy and sensitivity stuff just stinks so much.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Long Day

Yet another day that both girls are struggling. These just show up out of the blue but I had two tearful, clingy girls today. Makes me sad but I am so glad they are mine. I just want to protect and keep them safe from all this crap that makes them feel so bad.

Please, God, help me to trust in your inscrutable wisdom and to be able continue to walk and not faint.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010


The little girl figured out how to sit down in a chair this afternoon. I noticed her sitting on the window sill in the living room (about 12 inches from the floor). Then this evening, she backed up to her rocking chair and sat on the edge. Then scooted her way back until feet off the floor and grinning like a cheshire cat. She is very pleased with herself that she doesn't have to crawl up into the chair and try to turn around and get her legs back out the front.

Bear went to her first ballet class tonight and was so nervous this afternoon. She could hardly eat supper due to being nervous and talking about being anxious. She came home raving and explaining all about her class and can't wait for next week. Computer Man did get a pic of her in her ballet outfit and I will post when I get the camera back.

They are growing up quickly but then Skunk goes and refuses to eat a couple times and it makes me crazy. I want to enjoy her being little but it is so darn hard and she is so sensitive.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Holding Hands

We played in the wading pool yesterday and Skunk was so cute. She got so excited about the squirrels in the yard and wanted to go and see them. She is toddling so much better that I offered her my hand and we walked across the yard. It is still easier to just pick her up and go but fun to hold her hand and walk in the grass. She loves to play in the water and splash and play with Bear. They had a great time. Today we baked and it got up to 87 in the hallway (bet it was 90 or more in the kitchen). Time will tell how things go tonight. She did ok this afternoon but was very screechy and hitting tonight. She went to bed in time for Bear and I to read a little while on the Silver Chair.
These girls are so precious.

Off to wash dishes and finish the laundry.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


Why does this have to be so hard? I am trying to be thankful but every day is just hard. Crying, hitting, fussy girls (big and little) and the little one is constantly tired but can't sleep. I am so thankful to have them but every day is a struggle to survive. Father help me to walk and not faint. Be my strength in the night (and day)!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


The Skunk is giving kisses. She is so sweet and loves to snuggle/pat and hug. On Monday, she started leaning over and giving sweet little kisses - not drool-y messes but sweet heart tugging kisses. I have cried multiple times each day as she just loves on me, Computer Man and Bear. What beautiful joy! Thank you God for the sweet times!

We went swimming again today. Bear and Skunk both love it so much. Bear is putting her face in the water and getting more and more comfortable. Skunk is splashing and loving just being in the water with me. Wears me out but they have so much fun! What a blessing this has turned out to be for us.

Monday, August 02, 2010

Nothing new

We continue to struggle and I am just trying to make my peace that we will continue for a long time. I am sad about the struggles but Skunk has happy times (Bear certainly didn't have many at this age) so I have things to be thankful for. I keep praying for a thankful heart but my heart keeps complaining and crying.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Continued struggles

Skunk still can't tolerate me baking. I baked just crackers this morning and she reacted pretty badly. But she loves the crackers. =) I am pretty sure that since the cabinets make her sick, heating them up (the oven sits between them) makes it worse. But she has to have something to eat. The good news about that is she could still eat lunch, even after baking crackers. When I bake cereal and muffins, she refuses to eat. So I am going to have to make crackers a couple mornings a week to keep the girls in crunchies. Somehow we will survive... I keep praying for a different home so that I can just have shelves instead of wood cabinets. Maybe someday?

And I keep claiming that promise from Isaiah 40 - that I can walk and not faint.

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Grass Allergy Season Strikes

Back to bed late in the evening again! We had a nice lull in June where Skunk was in bed at 730pm again but about 1.5 weeks ago, she started being unable to go to sleep before 9pm. I really like her to go to bed before Bear so that we get some snuggle and reading time in. =( But Skunk is taking naps (only 2 per day but good ones) and is cheerful. She is so tired at 73op though but rolls around and ends up crying and crying. So she toddles around and plays while I read to Bear.

Bear has started sleeping on the couch. She says that her bed is hard (it is just layers of blankets) and Skunk wakes her up in the mornings. So she is basically living in the living room. I am so sad that she doesn't have a room anymore. I just keep praying that God will provide for her and us what we/she needs, not what I want. I want to give them the moon but that isn't an option. I try really hard to be thankful and verbalize my thankfulness to God for the many blessings we have. I am praying for a grateful heart that can endure. Please Lord, help me to walk and not faint!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010


We survived the ab's. Now we will see if we get any improvement for Skunk. Bear still struggles along and I have called to request her ab's from our pcp.

On a different note, we had run out of baked stuff due to my baking error. I forgot to add sugar to Bear's muffin cake last week and it turned out like a brick and tasted awful. So I was hungry for 2 days and baked this morning. She is so glad to have muffin cake back and I am so glad for my cereal. Skunk still had some trouble but seemed to survive. It is so hot to bake with the windows open and leave them until 1p. The house is about 85+ and stifling. Makes me feel sorry for those who existed before air conditioning! It is one thing to be outside in 95 degree weather but in the house is just miserable - humid and sticky. Fans are our friend on these days.

Off to bed!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Day 3

We have 5 days left and will see where we are. I am begging and pleading with God to help my babies. Bear had a hard time after being at the dentist - much worse fallout than any other visit. Skunk is plugging along. Monday was an awful day for both girls and Monday night Skunk and I didn't sleep much. We are balanced between her needing to switch over to 2 naps per day and being so tired in doing so. I had pushed back the memories of the utter tiredness of my girls when reacting but having to drop a nap. I am repeating Proverbs 3:5 and 6 to myself many times daily as well as Isaiah 40 at the end. I just pray that God will allow me to walk and not faint, to trust in Him with *all* my heart and not trust my own knowledge. He alone can direct our lives and knows what is best. His wisdom is unsearchable and he loves us more than I can ever know or imagine. I just have to trust...

Sunday, June 20, 2010


Skunk is in the midst of her first viral illness. I got sick last weekend at work (amazingly doesn't happen very often) and she got it from me. When Bear was little, she and I passed illnesses back and forth but as she got older, we didn't always catch what the other had. Now I made Skunk sick. She sticks her hands in my mouth, eats and drinks after me and sleeps on me. I don't think I could find a way to keep from making each other sick. She has snot running, has had a fever for 36 hours and is generally more fussy than usual (which is saying something). She will usually play in the floor with me and today, all she wanted me to do was hold her. Tonight she did some crawling but wouldn't get very far from one of us. I am on day 6 of the illness and am much better so hopefully only another day or two to go for her.

Bear goes to the dentist tomorrow morning. It will be hard on her with all their smelly stuff but hopefully she will survive without too much fall out. I have to bake tomorrow as well as we start the last week of our ab's tomorrow night. I am praying for peace and endurance as well as God's healing for Skunk as we finish this home stretch. I really want her to be able to eat cereal and chippies and to be able to tolerate me baking and cooking so that I can do these things for Computer Man and Bear again. It has been a difficult year but God has been faithful to provide.

Friday, June 18, 2010


I cried today... my baby took 6 steps and soon she will no longer be a baby. She is precious and round in all the right places. Even though her babyhood has been difficult, she has been a joy and a balm to my heart after the struggle for Bear's survival. I love her fuzzy head, her round thighs, the slap of her hands on the floor as she power crawls. She is my last baby and I have enjoyed her being a baby more than I could have hoped. Thank you Lord for the blessing of Skunk.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Having a hard time

Isaiah 40

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, the creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable.

He gives power to the weak and to those who have no might, he increases strength.

Even the youths shall faint and be weary, the young men shall utterly fall,

But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

My hope is in him and him alone.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010


Skunk waved bye bye to Daddy for the first time today. He was thrilled and she was cute. ;)

Monday, May 31, 2010

Clapping and Tears

Skunk started clapping today. She just stands in the floor (her balance is pretty good) and claps her hands together. Of course, she gets lots of oh's and ah's from us and she grins real big. =D She is getting so much better at just standing and can crouch down and sit without anything to hang on to. Bear is "helping her practice walking" by holding her hands and walking between the kitchen and living room. With Bear, the computer man and I did the helping but Bear has taken over with Skunk. It is pretty cute, I must say. Must try to get a pic of them.

I finally figured out why I have been so sad today. Yesterday was one year since we lost Amy. Hannah and I cried last evening because it is memorial day and we remembered Amy along with our troops. It sounds crazy and not honoring to these brave soldiers but I do pray for them and their families daily. I miss her so much but I am so glad that she isn't lonely for us. I will never forget Amy unless I am old and demented. Every day I miss you and your unconditional love. I wouldn't trade a day that we had. I hope you are happy chasing squirrels and laying in the shade. I love you and miss you, precious hounder!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


I have been bad about posting. Just a few quick notes and hopefully back later with a good post. Skunk has 6 teeth and is standing independently. I have been spending most of my time reading the Kindle app and playing in the floor w/ her. Bear spends a lot of time watching Netflix and playing games on the computer. Both are growing. Skunk has recovered from the misery of spring bloom and is better with going to bed and eating for now. She is just as sensitive and we still struggle daily. I have an appointment with the FP in 2 days to talk about the same abx course that Bear and I did. I have tried and tried to get her to tolerate the oil and she just doesn't. I can't even warm her bottle in the microwave without her reacting. =(

Off to take care of a shower for me while Skunk is down. Hope to be back later!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Dropping a Nap

My baby is going to 2 naps per day... she is getting so big! I bet she is between 18 and 19 pounds but no way am I taking her in to the stinky pedi office to weigh! She is doing so well yesterday and today. On a whim, I gave her zyrtec BID one day this week when a neighbor mowed. Suddenly, I have my nice baby who eats and plays again. Still waking up 2-3 times at night but if she will eat and play, I can try and get up at night without complaining. She is crawling all over the house and figured out on Monday how to get down from standing without just falling down. =) She carefully puts a hand down and lowers herself to the ground. So precious...

The big girl is doing ok, some days are better than others. She is missing getting outside and doing whatever we wanted. Spring is lovely with the temps but mama is snotty and miserable even with just 10 minutes outside. Every flowering tree around has flowers and the pecan's are dripping pollen. Hopefully in the next couple weeks things will calm down and we can just go to grass pollen.

I am praying for my attitude and for God to provide for my girls so that they can play, eat and sleep as best they can.

Another song used by God to speak to my heart - Fee

you said you'd never leave or foresake me
when you said, this life is gonna shake me
you said this world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
this i know

when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
your the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
i find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on
you keep holding on

when i see the darkness all around me
when i see the tragedy has found me
i still believe your faithful arms will never let me go
and still i know

when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
your the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
i find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on
you keep holding on

sorrow will last for the night but hope is rising with the sun
there will be storms in this life but i know you will overcome
but i know you will overcome

when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
your the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
i find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on

when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
your the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
i find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on

Please, God, hold me together because I am falling apart and my strength is gone

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Allergies are killing us here

Skunk is just one big histamine reaction all day and all night. She wakes about 12am and sleeps the rest of the night on me. We usually wake at about 230 or 3 and I feed her again. She is hardly eating in the day so I don't begrudge her dream feeding at night. She drinks so much better when sleepy and so I go with what works for now. Bear is struggling some with allergies/histamine reactions but nothing like Skunk is. T and I are just itchy, tired, snotty and allergic as well. Such joy!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Moving on

Skunk is truly moving on... she has gone from scooting backwards to crawling all over the living room and kitchen. And she is pulling up on the window sills, fireplace, foot stool - pretty much anything that she can reach. She will not wait to walk until 12+ months like her sister did.

She and Bear are totally enjoying playing with Mega blocks, Noah's ark and all her other toys. Bear is happy that she finally can play with Skunk and have a good time.

We seem to have recovered from the spraying of almost 2 weeks ago except that Skunk is still waking at night but at least she is sleeping in the day and mostly at night. She is round and plump. I fed her bits of my breakfast bread today and will do so for breakfast the next couple days and see how we do. She still gets her milk but I am trying to get her eating some CP stuff instead of just drinking it. Then I want to add in some of her calcium and get that in her too. She does the B Vit's and probiotics so far but it is so hard to test out supps when she reacts to so much else. The multi-vit was a not well tolerated so we are trying out separate supps to get her minerals in her.

That is all for now in the pollen infested world I live in... waiting for tree pollen to go away!

Wednesday, April 07, 2010


Fertilizing and spraying weather has returned. Both girls have been struggling for 5 days. I just find this misery almost unbearable. Skunk has taken to refusing about 1 feeding per day (still drinking her CP milk and eating chicken the rest of the day though) and waking about 3 times at night. Makes for a tired mom and then Bear is crying, sensory issues 'way on overload, arguing over. every. little. thing. Makes me want to resign my post but there is no other way.

Bear and I were up and about this evening and we heard Skunk hitting a toy that she should not have been able to reach from the floor. Here is what we found:

Aren't they beautiful? Just have rotten guts like their Dad and Mom. But God is the creator and sustainer of life and made them just as they are. He is also the healer and Great Physician and is capable of caring for them so much better and more competently that I.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010


All of us are growing... Bear and Skunk are physically growing and I am learning new ways to depend on the sufficiency of our heavenly Father. I am so thankful that the girls are able to eat and play. I pray more than daily that God will allow them to grow physically, mentally and spiritually. Bear is doing better - not arguing all the time, is still eating and still doesn't like to do her schoolwork. Skunk is growing as well - she is heavy and round. Praise be to God for providing for my girls physically. I am continuing to pray that he will provide a way for Bear to be able to get to go to park day or just to play with others. If we get out, Skunk has much trouble. It is hard to balance keeping Skunk going with what Bear needs emotionally and mentally. But God is faithful and I know that he is providing a way for my girls. Probably pretty easy to see why I love this verse the last 7 years.

He tends his sheep like a shepherd. He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart: he gently leads those who have young.

Isaiah 40:11

Friday, March 19, 2010

Better and still working...

We are still here... Skunk is still eating chicken and drinking chickpea milk. We have tried the multivit and she can take it but does react. So have asked Fiona about alternatives for her. We still have big ups and downs and lots of things affect her but we are surviving better than on Neocate. The washing machine is wreaking havoc on all three of us girls. I don't know how long it will take to "air out." Neither girl (nor I for that matter) have been the same since mid-December when we got the washer. Bear struggles and requires bicarb to help with the reflux in the afternoon and evenings. Skunk - poor Skunk- struggles with the oil we use and I think her bucket is just at the brim. She can drink the milk made w/ oil but I still can't cook with it without causing her to have horrid poo, struggle to eat and sleep - just our basic chemical reaction here. Maybe as she can heal? I am praying more than daily for God to provide for them so that they can grow strong and healthy.

Bear has lost more teeth - I think we are up to 6 gone. =) One upper incisor is half in and the other is starting in. Skunk has 2 bottom teeth and the left lateral incisor. My girls don't get their upper front teeth first, they get the side upper ones. I haven't ever seen a baby get teeth in like that but both girls have had it this way. Skunk is scooting backwards and wants badly to go forward. She has gotten good at going from sitting to all fours quickly. It won't be long before she is going where she wants to go. Life is about to change for all of us here when that happens.

Spring is here - trees are dripping pollen and neighbors are mowing. Oh joy!

Monday, March 08, 2010

Trying not to be too excited

Today, Skunk has drank only chickpea "milk" and had poached chicken. She is happy and is full for the first time in months. My baby still likes to be carried and entertained but I know that she is not hungry all the time. I pray hourly that God will provide for Skunk and Bear and allow them to grow and be healthy. Praise be to God alone!

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Treading water

I have been trying to keep my head above water lately. Skunk is up often in the night and *early* in the mornings. Yesterday she was up at 1230am, slept on me until 5 am and then was up. Today, she didn't wake in the night and was up at 545a. She is just unable to sleep - she just lays on me and nose rubs for about 20 minutes. Makes me sad as I walk the floor in the dark.

She has been eating poached chicken breast for about a week and doing great. Today she had 25gms and then 15gms at supper. Tomorrow we stop Neocate and start CP milk. Skunk has only been getting about 420ish calories daily and isn't growing or gaining weight since I quit breastfeeding her. I up her Neocate 1gm at a time or she reacts by spitting up, being unhappy and losing more sleep for a couple days. But she is still off her PPI (for now) and tolerating the probiotic. So since this worked for Bear, we are going to try it for Skunk. As T says, we can always go back to Neocate and just survive, if we have to. I pray that she will drink the milk (it tastes good!) and continue to eat chicken. I would love for her to eat chippies, drink CP milk and chomp chicken!

I am still praying for our home situation. Skunk is up on all fours and pushing backwards, can't go forward yet. =) I would like to be in a place that she can be in more than just her bedroom and the living room/kitchen. I know that God will provide grace for where we are - even if it remains here. I am praying hourly for endurance and I know that he will continue to provide for us in every way.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Still Struggling and Snow

Something still has all the girls off kilter. I have sorted through things in my brain and cannot figure out what is causing us difficulty. Very frustrating, to say the least. But we had lots of snow today - it actually snowed all day long. I will add in pics when I get some energy. Carrying the little one all day is just exhausting work.

Only a Texas child would wear Crocs in the snow...

Bear lost another tooth so both upper front teeth are gone. She looks so precious.

Lastly but most importantly, my 2 precious girls -

Sunday, February 21, 2010


The girls have been reacting this week. Bear is clingy, anxious and emotional in addition to not eating well at all. Skunk won't play on the floor at all, is much more arm wave-y and fussy. I don't feel good but I have been hurting like I have been chemical'ed since some time in December. We are still struggling with how to keep the washing machine from making them react and I think that is what is causing the problem this week. We have to change out the filters in the big AllerAir filter and we are going to put it in the laundry room and the smaller Aireox out in the living room. Bear usually does pretty good with chemical stuff that isn't inside the house (except the fertilizer) so this probably is something that is in here. Such puzzles... so precious. Nothing beats girl giggles and little arms around your neck. Maybe little boy giggles but we don't have any of those here. Such precious gifts from God!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Better but no food

Amazingly, Skunk has recovered from the insult this weekend in 3 days. I attribute it to recently doing the medicines and the fact that she is doing better.

I tried making custard (pudding here in the US) for her today and she ate a few bites. But then skipped her lunchtime nap and took a short afternoon nap. But no poo and very little reflux (that I can see) so at least the canola oil is better than the safflower or the other ones. Maybe someday? Please God?

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Oh Joy...

Oh my, the neighbors have started fertilizing again. Bear and Skunk are both totally refluxing and fussing, clingy and miserable. Of course, Skunk is much worse than Bear. Skunk is not sleeping much at all. We went from nice 1.5 hour naps 3+ times a day and sleeping from 930p-6a to 45 minute naps or even being unable to sleep. And she was awake 3 times last night, one time for about an hour, which is very unusual for her. It makes me so sad. Bear is struggling to eat, I have to make her eat some snacks and supper. She doesn't really overtly reflux but she just tells me that she doesn't feel like eating and certainly doesn't intake anywhere close to normal for her.

I just want to help or make it better but I am praying for endurance and grace to accept what God has for us. I just want to help my girls and knowing that this will keep happening all spring, summer and fall is just too much to deal with. But I have no where to run and no where to go. So we stay... and struggle to survive. God doesn't tell me that he will show the whole path, what he does say is this:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will direct your path.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


Skunky survived the medication and is off her ppi. Her reflux is still flared by our mistakes around here but she is making it. I have to figure out how to start feeding her... am conversing w/ PF regarding this now. The girl grabs my bowl every night and just really wants to eat. But given Bear's history, I am hesitant. But she has to start eating sometime. Sometimes I think Neocate contributes to her difficulties but it keeps her alive.

Catch 22, again.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Sleep returns

Well, Skunk is sleeping a bit more. Back to a couple naps during the day if I don't mess anything up. And she is mostly sleeping at night as well. We have 3 more doses of medicine and time will tell if we can keep her off the ppi for any length of time. I am petitioning and pouring prayers of provision and growth for her. I need some way to get more calories in her - whether I try to up the Neocate or switch to Elecare. I am leaning to Elecare right now but will talk to Fiona about what she recommends. I am truly thankful that Skunk hasn't had the throwing up like Bear did. Each kid is truly different. Lots of variables this weekend and today was tougher than yesterday.

Continue to sustain and provide, Father! I praise your name for your faithfulness to us.

Saturday, February 06, 2010

Not much sleep

Last night was hard. Skunk struggled to go to sleep at all and then I couldn't get her back in bed at 2200. I could get her asleep on me but as soon as I put her down, the screaming started. I tried 3 times to lay her down and each time she woke up. So I slept in Bear's bed w/ Skunk on my chest. I got the blankets all messed up and I was shaking and so tired and cold. But if I moved, Skunk would cry out and wriggle. So I just laid there, cold and miserable until I fell asleep. I didn't sleep well at all and kept waking up all night. Skunk was up at 555a and I walked and sang until 625a. Somehow she is able to sleep in this morning nap, I wish she would skip it and sleep in the afternoon when she is tired beyond belief. Somehow that doesn't happen though. We are on day 5 so hopefully things will be a tiny bit better tomorrow. I am so hateful and mean that no one should have to be around me... wish I could just go live in the woods until my mood improves.

I am praying that God helps me to be thankful for my house, even through the difficulties in the way that it is set up. I am claiming:

Isaiah 40:28-31

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

This is my prayer (probably forever)!

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Another dose down

Skunky has had five doses of the medicine. She is struggling more today, very short naps (or skips them) andl is fussy. Last night she woke up once and went back to sleep til 630am. I am praying for tonight. I can take walking the floor all day but when she cries and doesn't sleep at night, then I get cranky. Sleep deprivation does bad things to me. She is still drinking Neocate though so not refusing, yet.

Give me strength and endurance and make her rest as good as it can be for her and I. Have mercy on us, God!

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Another one bites the dust

Tonight, Bear lost another tooth. This is number 4 for her. Number three is still coming in and so she looks pretty snaggle toothed. ;)

We started antibiotics for Skunk this afternoon. She couldn't finish her Neocate tonight already. I am trying to fortify myself tomorrow for the vomiting to come. It is bringing back bad memories from Bear and I am just crying inside. But I pray and pray that God will be merciful and allow her to improve some - for her sake and ours.

God, please give me endurance, strength and patience. Let me walk the floor and carry my girl close to my heart, just as you do for me. Please hold me God while I cry and grieve. Please be here for me God!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Oh my heck!

I have the cutest babies...

but they have rotten guts. ;)

Friday, January 22, 2010


Today, Skunk was chewing on my finger (she does that a lot and has been for months) and instead of smooth gingiva, there was a sharp little tooth! I have been feeling and feeling and didn't feel lumpies or anything and today... the tooth. It is so subtle that you can barely see it if you know what you are looking for but she won't cooperate with a picture. So I have to wait until I can see it better. But I sure can feel it!

The weather has been beautiful - it is actually up in the low 70's the last 2 days. Yesterday was baking day so we had the windows open until 330p and nothing was smelly. Today, laundry detergent/fabric softener smell all around. God is so gracious that it wasn't there on baking day. Skunk is fussing so I can't post any more but I just had to record the tooth date. =D

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Another Tooth Gone and Sitting up

Bear has lost another tooth!

And Skunk is trying to sit up.

Bear is behind Skunk so that when she falls over she doesn't conk her head. =) She really is just balanced and when she leans, she falls over. But it is a beginning. And Skunk is chewing on everything but no pointy little teeth felt yet.

What precious girls God has given me!

Friday, January 08, 2010


Bear is a copy-cat...

Bear is sitting at her daddy's computer, playing Free Realms and saying "Let's rock and roll, guys!" Her daddy says the same thing when he is raiding on EQ or DDO. She is mimic-ing her daddy and is a gamer already. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. But she loves it - both the playing by herself and playing with Daddy. And it has helped her reading skills so maybe there is an upside?

Friday, January 01, 2010

Happy New Year!

WOW! 2010... I must be getting old if this sounds like sci fi fantasy. lol We are trying to survive the holidays but our neighbors are smoking their chimneys something fierce. Bear and I were out for 30 minutes today and we had to take a shower upon returning inside as we were smoke-y. =(

I am cooking black eyed peas for supper though, in honor of New Year's. I hope Skunk is ok with them cooking. She reacts to so much that I get nervous about cooking anything new or different.

Bear and Skunk had a good Christmas - plenty of toys for the big one and a few for the little one to chew on. We also made a trip to Dallas between Christmas and New Years and it was pretty hard on the girls. But we enjoyed the change in scenery and very much enjoyed seeing Nana and PawPaw. We also got to see Uncle Burt and Aunt Tamar and Bear really enjoyed that so much. They are so sweet to play with her and she loves them very much. Tamar, if you read this, thank you so much for your effort with your hair. It made such a difference for the girls. Hooray!

I thinking that I am going to treat Skunk with antibiotics in Jan or Feb. I am praying for God's perfect timing and his healing for her.

Bear wants to watch a movie on the computer so I am going to sign off for now.