Saturday, December 15, 2012

He is I AM

This is the cry of my heart...

"You Are I Am"

I've been the one to shake with fear
And wonder if You're even here
I've been the one to doubt Your love
I've told myself You're not enough

I've been the one to try and say
I'll overcome by my own strength
I've been the one to fall apart
And to start to question who You are

You're the one who conquers giants
You're the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You're the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan's hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I am
You are I am

I've been the one held down in chains
Beneath the weight of all my shame
I've been the one to believe
That where I am You cannot reach

You're the one who conquers giants
You're the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You're the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan's hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I am
You are I am

The veil is torn
And now I live with the Spirit inside
The same one, the very same one
who brought the Son back to life

Hallelujah, He lives in me
Hallelujah, He lives in me
Hallelujah, He lives in me
Hallelujah, He lives in me

You're the one who conquers giants
You're the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You're the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan's hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I am
You are I am

Sung by Mercy Me

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Spun apart

My world has come crashing down. I haven't been able to post or even to know what to type out. But God is still here, God is still good, God is still LORD of ALL.

Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
So, I guess you're tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

Though I walk,
Though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take

How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

Plumb - released Sept 2012

Saturday, June 30, 2012


Wow, I have been lazy about posting.

I have been working more this month - 105ish hours to be exact. I haven't worked that much in, oh, about 8 years. It is hard to be away from home, hard to have Computer Man put the girls in bed three nights a week, hard to leave my girls crying when I go to work. But we get at least one day off per WEEK together as a family. And I like it.

Today is Skunk's birthday. She is three. My baby is three. She isn't really a love muffin any more. More like Bear, love jerky tough. We went swimming, opened presents, played in the yard and watched some of the Olympic trials today. It was a decent day. Skunk is struggling again though. Sad to see.

We were waiting at the taqueria this morning and they are in the back seat. Skunk pipes up with "I am so freakin' itchy!" Ya think that mama uses freakin' and fruit loopin' a little too much? I guess I don't say the other words but I would rather my girls not even use those words. Skunk says the darnest things. And reminds me that words have power and meaning. So I am praying that I can have more self control and guard my words (and thoughts) more carefully. 

May the words of my mouth and the mediations of my heart be honoring unto you, o Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Summer is here

Summer is here... the highs are in the mid 90's, the pools open next week, co-op is done, ballet is done. We have nothing scheduled but my work. I am thrilled. I love that Bear gets to do co-op and ballet but I don't like having to be some where every single day. It is silly, I know. Most kids are going to school, riding the bus early, scheduled to the 9's. But we chose to live differently and I love being home, sitting in the yard, building "houses" from blankets, playsilks and whatever else the girls come up with.

Saturday was Bear's first ballet performance. She had a costume, hair in a bun and make up. My baby isn't a baby any more. She was beautiful and did a good job. Today she informed me that she liked being up on stage and wants to do more of it. =P My complaint was that they closed the girls up in the dressing rooms and Bear was stuck with all the hair spray and frou frou. She was high as a kite but survived and slept that night. So I am so thankful that it was a success for her.

My beautiful ballerina:

We went swimming Sunday and joined our local rec center for the summer. Skunk spent all of last summer asking about swimming and we had to wait for invites from friends with a pool. This year, we are going when we want to do so. I am working evenings during the week to have a Sunday Family Day every week. I want to be able to go swimming, hiking or whatever we chose. Anyway, the girls and I had a great time and I think Computer Man did too. We were all pink and tired but it was worth it.

Now the girls are very disappointed that the pool is closed again this week. The local kids don't get out of school until Thursday afternoon so the pool is closed. I am looking forward to taking them next week.

Onward to 100F...

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Give them books

Girls love books.

Saturday, May 19, 2012


Skunk is talking to Gran on the telephone. Bear wants the phone and is asking for it.

Skunk: You are so greedy Sister!

Bear: You don't even know what greedy means.

Skunk: Yes, I do. It means you want everything!

ROFL The little one does know how to hold her own. ;)

Monday, April 30, 2012

Birdies Vests

I love to knit...  I am an active member of and one of the groups that I am in has been having a knit a-long (KAL) for a particular dyer of yarn. I have collected much of this dyer's beautiful work but have been too chicken to actually knit it. This KAL was great impetus to start on fall knitting and get it done. I usually struggle with getting a christmas picture done (matching outfits, getting all 4 of us in the same frame, etc). So I took this KAL as an opportunity to knit matching vests for my girls and have them done early. I still need to knit me something (probably a shawlette) to add the colorway to me. I don't thing Computer Man wants an item knit in a girlie colorway to wear... maybe he will. ;) Anywho, these are my, um, my girls' vests...

You can see that they were thrilled to be wearing them... thrilled to be still... thrilled to have their mother take their picture. Ah, well, at least they stood still and wore the vests. I need to get zippers sewn in but the knitting is done.

Bear came home from Friend's house with a toad this afternoon. Her friend "let" Bear have the toad for the first night of captivity. Said toad's name is Bob. Yes, Bob. We put Bob in the wading pool and watched him swim, climb the slide, chirp wildly in a panic and be handled by a preadolescent female child. We came in and read about caring for toads. Bob was desperately trying to get out of the bug house. Bear wanted to allow him to hop around the floor (in the house) and be happy. She couldn't fathom that he would hop to the nearest place to hide and disappear forever (to starve in the house). I called Friend's mother and explained that we don't have an aquarium nor anything to feed Bob. The mother agreed that we could bring him back and put him where he was discovered. When we walked back down to Friend's house, Friend was in trouble. She had already been told to observe the wild creatures and put them back where they were found. She had been specifically told this about Bob and she chose to "keep" him as a pet anyway. Friend was crying because she got in trouble and Bob is back in his water meter home. I hope Friend isn't terribly upset with Bear. I just couldn't imagine Bob being caught all night without food or water in a tiny insect box. Ah, the trials of childhood...

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Kids say...

Skunk calls the notebook on the kitchen table "the puker". She has done this for several weeks and asks to watch movies on the "puker." rofl Computer man shakes his head and wants to correct her but I frown at him. I love it when little ones say words in a funny way. They soon will grow up and those funny little things will be gone.

Bear is gone to the grandparents for several days. She called today (day 1) and wants to come home tomorrow. Sigh... I told her that they have something very fun planned for tomorrow so she needs to stay until the planned return (on day 3). Not like I have farmed her out for weeks - just 3 days. You would think I sent her to Siberia.

Skunk and I went to the doc today about my horrid allergies this spring. I am going to scratch out my eyes, rub my nose off and have more snot than anyone should if I step out any door to the outside world. I am ready for 105F just to kill all this darn stuff.

Skunk did her first real puzzle all by herself yesterday. She does peg puzzles and such very well but the complicated Lauri puzzles have been beyond her until yesterday.

Monday, April 02, 2012

Lovely Day

I need more days like yesterday - we all went to a lake park and played, hiked and were worn out. We all need this every week, not once a month or two.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Reality Check

I sent this to my mom today

"Just wanted to share that my girls are constantly quibbling and Bear is torturing Skunk. I think this is God's sense of humor and irony that I tortured Tressa all those years. I need crates to put them in before I run screaming from my house..."

She wisely sent me back this -

"We do understand and you are not exaggerating! However, as we saw with you and Tressa, she was not innocent with her own style of torturing you:) Likewise Girl #2 is not innocent. I read a devotional by Luci Swindoll (sister of Chuch) and thought of you and Tressa and mothering. Having one is not easy as he is a great manipulator of Tressa - tries anyway!

Hope for All Your Days

What does hope really look like? You might wonder. When your precious teenager is addicted to drugs or your best friend is mad at you or your four-year-old is driving you crazy with her center-stageism, where does hope come in? Let me suggest three practical ways to make it real in your live.

Accept your reality. I don't know anybody who likes what she does or where she is every minute of the day. But the reality is we are where we are, and God is doing something right here, whether we see it or not. He wastes nothing. He's growing us up in Himself.

Bring God into your reality. Bringing God into your reality means being fully present in the moment - not wishing you were somewhere you used to be or somewhere you hope to be.

Make life and adventure. Ask God for a fresh perspective on your life. Try things you've never tried before. Ask yourself what you want most from life, and go for it.

I know you know all of these things, but it doesn't hurt to get a reminder, I hope."

Thus I was reminded of the very true Steven Curtis Chapman song "Everything You Do" that is recently out.

Here are the some of the lyrics:

You're picking up toys on the living room floor for the 15th time today
Matching up socks, Sweeping up lost cheerios that got away
You put a baby on your hip, Color on your lips and head out the door"

While I may not know you, I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes, does it matter at all?

Well let me remind you, it all matters just as long
As you do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you,
Cause he made you, to do
Every little thing that you do
To bring a smile to His face
Tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do

And whatever you do, whether in word or in deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the father through him. Colossians 3:17

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Insect Hunter

We are playing outside quite a bit these days. Bear and I had come in to get lunch together and Skunk was outside the window. I look out and see this:

When asked what she was doing, she states "I'm looking for roly poly's here." She loves to find roly poly's and somehow got the idea to lift up pavers.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

More Skunky Sayings

Skunk: Daddy, my tummy is rumbly. *rubs tummy*

Daddy: Really? What would help you feel better?

Skunk: I think we need to go outside and throw the Frisbee.

Daddy: That will make your tummy better?

Skunk: Yes.

Oh. my. heck. Where does she come up with these things?

Bear says things like:

Bear: Why do I have to do math? I already know how to do it.

Mom: Because you need more practice and you don't know all the math.

Bear: Yes, I do. I want to go outside. I am tired of math.

You, dear reader, must understand that at this point she has done 10 multiplication problems and 2 division problems for school today. I am not killing her... but she thinks so. I think she needs to go to school and learn that she really is blessed to only do 1/2 a page of homemade math worksheets. The grass is always greener, isn't it?

Monday, February 20, 2012


We had poo in the potty today. Computer Man worked very hard about two weeks ago and got Skunk to tee tee in the potty without a diaper - don't ask, it has been a process of potty learning for this one. Bear was so easy but was also just over three years old. Anyway, Skunk has refused to poo in the potty and asks (sometimes begs) for a diaper for the poo. I can understand - it is strange to have to suddenly sit for these things instead of standing. She is even pretty independent with the tee'ing, just calmly going and sitting down, doing her business and patting with a washie. And today we had poo twice. I love my fluffy bummed babes but this is cool too. Now to just worry about the smelly bathroom for ballet and finding a bathroom at the park. Challenges abound - pro's and con's for diapers and panties.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Skunk: you are so gross

Computer Man: what does that mean

Skunk: you smell

Computer Man: well, ok.

Skunk: some times you just have to laugh

laughter all around

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Another Skunk-y saying

Skunk was chasing a squirrel this morning and said "I can't climb tree like squirrel." There was a pause and then she said "I don't have squirrel feet." Then points to Bear's bike and asks to ride the bike to climb the tree after the squirrel. Never a dull moment...

We had a pretty horrid 24 hours. We have bought Bear a double bed to put in the girls' room. I have been washing dust mite covers and sheets. Both girls are reacting like crazy but Skunk worse than Bear. She basically hasn't eaten today and has pooped about 6+ times. Poor little one. I had the windows open all day trying to clear the air. Difficult day and hopefully she can rest tonight. She did eat a couple chicken tenders tonight so that was good too. It was ballet evening on top of all that so we struggled through that as well.

Bear and I have found Star Trek TNG and she is totally addicted. We are up to the first episodes of season 3. The episodes have prompted some interesting conversations about creation, God and our beliefs as well as ethics (cloning). She is also doing long division (1 digit divisor) and we are just starting long multiplication. The multiplication tables have finally sunk in after much repetition. Book report due in several days and she isn't ready. More sighing here.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Bear knits

Bear has tried on and off for a couple years to knit. We have tried circulars, straights - short/long and she gets frustrated and quits every time. Until last week. We tried again and she has knit several ROWs. She does need coaching and sometimes I have to pick up a stitch a couple rows back but she is doing pretty well. And she is happy with herself for the successful effort. =D

Thursday, January 12, 2012


Skunk acts more like a preschooler than a toddler these days. My baby is getting so big. I told her that Nana and Pawpaw were coming to visit today. She says "That is wonderful! I can play with them."

We were walking down the street last evening to come home and cook supper. BJ and Buddy were barking (as usual) at us and Skunk says "Why they barking at us? I want to bark back." lol I encouraged her to be a dog and she barked a bit.

Last week she started pretending even more. We play Wonder Pets and she saves animals or even her sister from certain doom. It is very cute.