Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas

Don't know if I will have time to post tomorrow...

I am so thankful for my God who promises that nothing can separate me from himself. my husband who loves me and doesn't leave even when things are really hard. my precious girls who are such a blessing to us. my warm, dry house. plenty of food that is safe for us to eat. plenty of Neocate. warm dry beds with blankets. precious snuggles and sleep with Skunk for the second half of the night.

I miss my hounder. going to the grocery store. my hounder. sleeping through the night. my hounder. eating whenever I want. my hounder. going to work. my precious, sweet hounder.

insert *silent tears of joy and sorrow* here.

Thursday, December 17, 2009


Poor baby girl. This new electronic crap has sent her to a very bad place. The new washer smells *horrid* and I have no choice. Thank goodness the laundry room can be closed off (mostly) and there is an air filter in there. But if I turn on the heat, Skunk refluxes worse than ever and doesn't sleep, oh, and she poops all the time too. I guess that is better than the miserable constipation? I don't know but this chemical sensitivity stuff is killing me and her right now. I can't wash - diapers, clothes, washies... you name it. So I have huge piles of clothing, sheets and I am washing diapers by hand in the bath tub. This whole situation is just too complicated. I can't seem to shake wanting to make things better for the girls but it means that we go to great and sometimes ridiculous lengths here at home just to try and keep them eating and sleeping. Please God, help me to endure. I just can't seem to stand and am just crawling along right now. If I didn't have to function for them, I think I would just curl into a ball and stay. I am just that overwhelmed.

Psalm 13 fits again...

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O Lord, my God. Give light to my eyes or I will sleep in death;

My enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I WILL sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Survived Family

Well, the family gathering Sunday went very well. Both girls struggled but we survived and even slept a little bit. =) Skunk woke up at 555a and wouldn't go back to sleep this morning. Not surprising since she took the chemical beating yesterday.

Saturday night I got home from work and started laundry. My 14 year old washing machine let out a terrible thump while spinning and dumped all the water in the tub onto the laundry room floor. So, yesterday after the family gathering, I went to Sears and bought a new washing machine - to go with the new dryer that has been airing out in our garage for about a year. *ironic laughter* Fourteen years is pretty good for the pair. But it made me realize how much I rely on my washing machine and dryer. I do between two and four loads of laundry each evening. Cloth diapering Bear got me in the habit of doing laundry each evening and now I am diapering Skunk. So I have a huge pile of diapers, clothes, kitchen towels and some sheets. Hope that washer doesn't smell bad for long!

Got cereal and muffin cake baked this morning as well - right before the delivery man brought the washer. Tonight I was so crazy that I cooked brussel sprouts. There are many things that make Skunk sick - cooking smelly stuff is one of them and now I am totally nervous that I have put myself in for an awful night. I am praying that somehow we sleep, even if it is together on the couch. Sigh... why did I do that?

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Cold in Texas

It has been too cold here to be outside. That is pretty rare for us down here. The last week the temps haven't gotten much out of the 40's during the day. Since we can't wear our coats outside (gets the car and who knows what else smell on our clothes) we are wearing our home jackets or sweatshirts only and it is pretty chilly. So we go outside in the afternoon for about 30 minutes and come back in when our noses are frozen. =)

T and I went and looked at 2 houses yesterday. The location of the first was great - up on a hill, cow grazing country that is too hilly to farm - but the house left something to be desired in how the rooms were distributed through the house. The second house was fabulous but is on 5 acres surrounded by plowed fields. =( We just can't live some place like that. I so wish that we could move the house onto the hilltop. Wishful thinking but it makes me sad. This is why we will have to build something. But that will take us longer to accomplish. Sigh...

Skunk is reacting the last couple days and spit up this afternoon. She is mostly cheerful but just can't sleep much and has eczema on her nose and right cheek. And we have to have Christmas with T's family on Sunday. We won't stay long and I probably won't even let others hold her which will cause strife all by itself. Maybe I should just stay home and piss everyone off and be done with it.

I hate being chemically sensitive!

*cries softly to myself*

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Knitting for the Big Girl

My big girl (Bear) has learned to knit on a lucet. I bought one to knit i-cords on since I *hate* knitting i-cords. I am so impressed with how easy it is to make a cord. And Bear loves to get to knit like mommy does. She is making a garland for our Christmas tree.

Isn't she so wonderful? I am so proud of her for sitting and working so hard on her project. *beaming mommy here*