Monday, June 29, 2009

I am an ant! LOL

Well, not really an ant but an aunt. My sister had an emergency c-section on 6-26 and has a little boy. None of our siblings had any children so this is the first time we are Aunt E and Uncle T! How fun! He is doing well. Still in NICU and on O2 but not on a vent. I wish I was closer to them (they are in Miami) so I could help her with the medical stuff. It is so overwhelming to be a new mom and then to be thrown into an unfamiliar but important medical situation like that. My mom and dad flew there to be supportive and help and I am so glad that they could. A girl needs her mom with a first baby, especially in something like this.

Our baby is still snuggled up inside. =) I am so pregnant... H was 37.5 weeks so at 38.5 I feel huge. My ribs are sore, I pee all the time and I eat small meals. =D All totally normal for this time in pregnancy. I also started reading Ina May Gaskin's book on childbirth. I am so steeped in fearful traditional medicine in regards to delivery that it is refreshing to have "natural" childbirth re-affirmed. I do hope that this little one comes by next weekend. Even this weekend would be fine - though it is the 4th of July on Saturday!

I went and made rounds this morning early at Crestview and boy, the housekeeper did a number on me. Whatever she used just put me over the edge. I had awful belly pain, gut cramping, headachey and exhausted. Going in the evening doesn't work well at that home so I was hoping mornings would be better. It is except for the cleaning. The other home in Temple does fine with me coming in the evenings. I need to be able to do the rounds when T can be home but too many evenings is hard on family time. Ah... lose your weekends or lose your evenings - takes your pick!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Mask Tutorial

This is for a far away friend... sorry to have been so long in getting these to you.

This is the carbon insert. You can either hand stitch the depth smaller or do it on a sewing machine. It just decreases the depth of the filter. You can trim off the excess from between the serging and the alteration stitching and it will fit better in the shell of the mask.

Above is the shell of the mask and I turned it inside out. Then I stitched by hand to make the depth smaller for smaller faces. I didn't do it on a sewing machine because of the metal nose piece. If you break that metal piece by folding it back and forth, the mask doesn't fit *nearly* as well.

Below is where I took in the mask to make the sides shorter and alter the depth further. I didn't do these tucks (on either side) in the first 2 masks and they would fall down on H's face. Just make a small tuck (3-5mm) on either side of the mask where the metal nose piece ends. This helps fit so much. Then all you have left is to take in the elastic and trim the ends. Hope this helps and, again, sorry to be later than intended in posting.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Rolling right along

Yes, that was meant to mean that I feel like I am rolling/waddling back and forth some days. We are 37 weeks tomorrow and this baby is right up there. =) I am so thankful to be pregnant and feeling the kicks and pushes. All seemed fine at our MW appt this week. I started having braxton hicks on Monday (6-15). It freaked me out so much that I started washing diapers and got out the pack-n-play for the baby to sleep in. Now the pack-n-play is in the middle of the living room since we need to shift our room around but at least we are more ready. Babies need food, diapers and a place to sleep. We have all those covered. H was early and I was totally unprepared. I can't do that again this time with our chemical issues so now I feel better. I am not really nesting, just trying not to be desperate. ;)

Working the nursing home patients and the ED is wearing me out. This weekend is my last scheduled one at the ED and I am so glad. I would be worried about calling in and leaving the schedule uncovered if I had scheduled myself any shifts farther out. I will continue to do the nursing home rounds until this little one comes. I plan to bow out for several weeks but hopefully I can have most of the monthly visits done so that phone calls are mostly what are needed. I just can't see myself leaving an EBF baby for 3 hours at a week or two of age. Not that T can't handle just about anything (cause he does such a great job with things around here). I just don't want to ask him to and I won't want to leave. So things are winding down and I am trying to get the few things settled around here. We are going to do a shelf for H's room this weekend so that we can put her toys and clothes on the shelf instead of stacked up on her dresser surface.

Hope we get all this done! Probably will as this little one will probably be really comfortable in there and stay longer than I want. ;) God's timing is perfect... not mine. (must keep repeating that)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Girlie's Birthday!

Today is my girlie's birthday! God has blessed us with 7 years with her. I am so thankful that the last 2-3 have been so much better. We have been on Fiona's program for 23 months and have seen such progress. I broke the rules and started H on food trialing 4 weeks early. I chose a food with a low allergy number for her. She has been trialing peach for a week now. She is loving it and is up to 80ish grams without any trouble. I have cut back on the strawberries the last 2 days and peach has gone much better. She is eating a small peach off the pit and loves it. =) She had a dentist appointment this morning (she loves the dentist) and then we came home and took a walk. She was up "at 5 something" due to excitement and I was up at 6 so we had quiet room time from 1-2p today. We are now baking birthday cakes in the shape of sunflowers and will have those with T tonight. She wants bison and fried okra for supper so that is what we will have. She will also open her presents tonight after T gets home. So I will try and post pictures later this evening.

This weekend was hard for me. I just dreaded knowing that Amy had been gone for a whole week. I worked Fri, Sat and Sun for the last time before the baby. Each evening when I came home, I went out and sat with Amy and cried. There are lots of times that I need "dog therapy" but when I come home from work was one that was very typical. After a really busy shift, there is something wonderful about sitting with Amy and just having her head pushed up against me. She loved just being together and loving.

H is having a hard time with being outside playing w/o Amy. It is also getting pretty hot so I am not pushing the issue right now. I am hot even with being inside, in front of the fan. My belly is getting tight this week and I am getting lots of knees, feet and bottom pushing out. =) This baby is up higher than Hannah got. I am getting kicked in the ribs but not painfully. I have to sit up straight to be comfortable and absolutely cannot lay on my back without being uncomfortable.

Off to finish the cakes and work on supper. Look for those pictures!

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

June 3, 1995

Well, today is our anniversary. We have been married 14 years. Lots of ups and downs in those years so far. Whoever coined the term "wedded bliss" is either a liar or wasn't married. LOL Marriage is lots of hard work and loving each other when neither of you deserves it. I am so glad that T is my husband. He is truly my best friend and the only person who mostly "gets" who I am. But neither of us is perfect and there are times where I would like a few hours away. Mostly though I would like a few hours away with him. Between both of us working different hours, the girlie and the computer... I feel that we don't see each other as much as I would like. I think that is a stage in marriage that goes along with having kids though.

I am still pretty heartbroken about Amy. I cry multiple times a day. I haven't taken a nap in 3 days because she had been in the habit of coming in my room with me and napping on the floor by our bed. I just can't face being alone at naptime right now. And it helps me to sleep hard at night because I am so tired. I still can't look out the back door into her room. I think that I hear her collar jingle outside and think that we should go get her and let her in to be with us. I miss feeding and watering her every day. She was such a part of my life for 9 years that I am just wounded. I don't know how long it will hurt like this. I may have an Amy sized hole in my heart for the rest of my life. At least there will be a scar there. Right now the wound is so fresh and open that functioning around here is difficult. She was truly a part of our family and everything around the house, yard and neighborhood reminds me of her. I was driving home from a nursing home today and started crying because the drive home was part of our walking route with her. The hole in my heart is weeping... I love you so much Amy Dog! I love this quote and it is now painful... rather appropriate for an anniversary and grieving a death today.

"Dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening, love like you have never been hurt"

Monday, June 01, 2009

And the day after

My beloved basset hound got sick this weekend. She was not tolerating fluids or eating starting on Saturday afternoon. Last night, we went to the emergency vet clinic. A compassionate and kind vet (a gift from God) found out that she had a huge tumor in her belly and it was pressing on her stomach and intestines. We had her put to sleep at the vet last night and I have just basically cried since then. She went downhill in the span of 24 hours. We just couldn't watch her suffer and struggle to breath and not be able to drink any longer.

She is/was my first child, cuddled me through infertility twice, loved me even when I couldn't spend nearly enough time with her due to dd's extreme illness one summer. She is the doggy love of my life and to lose her is so painful. I have been dreading losing her but was praying that we would have more time with her. We had her for nine years and she was the best dog.

Amy spent all day with H and I since we homeschool. Words cannot express how much my heart is aching. Everywhere I look in the house and out are reminders of her. We are going to bury her when T gets home this afternoon. I have spent the morning crying and dd has as well. I miss her so much, her sweet kind spirit lying next to me on my feet as I sit. How much can a mama cry? I was up most of the night, just unable to sleep. Sad because Amy isn't really home anymore. Somehow I am not even very tired today, even on 4-5 hours of sleep. I knew that I would miss her but this is just so so hard.