Monday, September 28, 2009


It has been 4 months since Amy died. I still miss her every day. But I am so glad that she is not lonely outside since G has been born. I have left her inside water bowl out because I just can't bear to put it away. Today I am washing it and putting it in the cabinet. I still miss her so much but the hurt isn't as fresh as it was. And the memories are priceless.

I love you AmyDog!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Growing Baby and other stories

G had a 3 month well child check yesterday. We don't immunize so I saw no reason to take her in at 2 months. She is 12 pounds 2 ounces and 23 inches long (and some pocket change). So even though she has started refusing to eat and screaming sometimes, she is growing.

It has gotten to be fall and has been raining the last couple days. That is nice as people don't mow when it is raining. But then they all mow after the rain because the grass grows. G gets so miserable when people mow as the reflux flares up badly, even when we are in the house and they are mowing outside. I am just praying for wisdom with how to deal with the level of sensitivity that we have been thrown back into. It is frustrating to H that we have to stay inside much of the time. She doesn't remember being this sensitive but it sure brings back sad and hard memories for me. I am hoping that we can deal with G's issues much more quickly than we did with H. The reflux is just so so bad that we cannot go without the PPI or she wouldn't eat much at all. I struggled mightly to get enough calories into H to keep her growing but she wasn't really ever happy due to the discomfort of the reflux. G has many happy moments and is starting to coo and interact and it is lovely. Though it makes me sad on those days when she is so miserable that she won't even make eye contact much.

I have really been dealing with being anxious and afraid. A dear friend sent me a link to Max Lucado's new book FEARLESS. It touched my heart and reminded me to look for God's direction (not my own strength) and to remember that Jesus repeatedly told his disciples (and us) "Do not be afraid!"

I am clinging Lord... help me to hang on to your promises and not to my feeble fear!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. " John 14:27

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Difficult day

Today has been tough. The little girl has had a hard couple days. She refused to eat this morning and just cried on and off for about 2 hours. That is the first time that she has done that. H used to do that frequently but G hasn't totally refused for 2 hours. She did eat the rest of the day though so she isn't starving. Everyone around us seems to have done yard work this weekend. One of the closest neighbors mowed her yard this afternoon so tonight was difficult again but at least G ate. But she won't sleep now... crying again. Last night she had lots of trouble going to sleep, difficult day today and now difficulty going to sleep. God give us mercy tonight so that she (and we) can rest.

Not too many smiles this weekend at this house.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


The little girl giggled tonight. She has given us beautiful smiles for weeks now but tonight she truly giggled for the first time. AND she did it several times. Praise God for a happy girl some of the time. He is good no matter what but not much better than little girl arms around your neck or little girl giggles and smiles. How much HE must love us!

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

First Day of School

I didn't get a picture but today was the first day of co-op for us this school year. H has been doing school work on and off all summer since I was so lazy while pregnant. But today, we had literature class and science at co-op. She enjoyed herself greatly and I taught her literature class. That reminds me, I need to order a couple of art supply things for class. We were in a hurry to get to the co-op this morning and I forgot to stop and take a picture of her. But shorts, t-shirt and crocs were the dress this morning. LOL Crocs for everything for this girl!