Monday, May 19, 2008

A Good Monday

It is amazing what adequate sleep and not working crazy hours does for me. I worked to shifts this weekend but it is the middle shift and I got to sleep normally. I am tired today but doing well, considering how I spent my weekend surrounded by chemicals. It will take a couple months to back down my schedule to fewer hours since we do the schedule 3 months ahead. But I am looking forward to July and having a weekend off. I also want to do only 2 week-days a month. It is hard on T and I to do the during the week thing. It should be easy but somehow it is hard on us. I like the Friday evenings but he also goes and does D&D at the Webers and goes to Manly night. And I wouldn't want to work every Friday anyway, two a month is plenty for us.

It is supposed to be 94 degrees today. We are going to break out the wading pool and fill it up today. The idea is to play in the yard a while and then wash Amy. Then she can come inside and hang with us and stay cool this evening.

H is practicing writing in her "journal" this morning - doing copy work beside me at the table. I need to work on the Spell to Read and Write while we are outside today. She is so ready to do more with school but I have to get prep done to make things safer for her and organize what we can do.

Well, the HSG is Thursday. The doc's office called and my FSH is high, which means that my pituitary has to work harder than "normal" to get me to ovulate. I am almost 35 years old, so not really surprising. I am going to do the HSG and then we are done with TTC. I will just go back to not doing anything to prevent but if God wants us to have another little one, he is God! I giggle to myself when I think of Sarai having a baby at 80 or 90. God's plan is not hampered by high FSH or my age. He created me and knows exactly what the best plan is. I am kind of glad to get the fertility stuff done. It has been hanging over my head for 2.5 years of wondering if we are going to have to do that again. There are great reasons for having another bub but there is the easy factor of just having Hannah. She is big enough that she is helpful most of the time. =) Time will tell on this one... I can't see the future, nor do I know what is best for us.

Friday, May 16, 2008

So Much

I have so much for which to be thankful. Since my post on living in the now instead of the maybe a new house, God has really been impressing upon me that I cannot live with the "what ifs" of life. H has the Steve Green cd's and one of the songs is "Do Not Worry about Tomorrow." That so strikes close to my fearful heart. I want to save $$$, buy some land, build a house and have another child all in the next few months. I cannot control any of those things but I can give my worry over to God. I am working on concentrating on what will glorify God in my life and not what can I get out of all this.

I am feeling so good today. It is Friday and I have had 4 days off. I am beginning to face the fact that work makes me really sick and how do I get around from going there? I just have to work less... It is hard to give up having energy to move and feeling good but also hard to give up my ability to go to work and be a competent adult person. Sigh... my significance doesn't come from work, right? Tell that to my heart!

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Mama is tired

I have just finished 3 shifts in a row and I am beat. I worked 3-12 last night and the place was full the whole 9 hours. I took a break for 10 minutes and inhaled my supper. The rest of the time was spent diligently seeing patients. The redeeming factor was that Dr M is good and quick. I don't know how many we saw together last night but it felt like a lot. And I forgot to document something on a chart and I can't remember the man's name! Sigh... brain fog at its best.

H is being patient today. We watched Meet the Robinsons again this am. It is cloudy today and I am glad. It fits my mood more than lovely bright sunshine. Hopefully I can rest tonight and have a better day tomorrow. We have to sweep and bake chippies this afternoon...