G had a 3 month well child check yesterday. We don't immunize so I saw no reason to take her in at 2 months. She is 12 pounds 2 ounces and 23 inches long (and some pocket change). So even though she has started refusing to eat and screaming sometimes, she is growing.
It has gotten to be fall and has been raining the last couple days. That is nice as people don't mow when it is raining. But then they all mow after the rain because the grass grows. G gets so miserable when people mow as the reflux flares up badly, even when we are in the house and they are mowing outside. I am just praying for wisdom with how to deal with the level of sensitivity that we have been thrown back into. It is frustrating to H that we have to stay inside much of the time. She doesn't remember being this sensitive but it sure brings back sad and hard memories for me. I am hoping that we can deal with G's issues much more quickly than we did with H. The reflux is just so so bad that we cannot go without the PPI or she wouldn't eat much at all. I struggled mightly to get enough calories into H to keep her growing but she wasn't really ever happy due to the discomfort of the reflux. G has many happy moments and is starting to coo and interact and it is lovely. Though it makes me sad on those days when she is so miserable that she won't even make eye contact much.
I have really been dealing with being anxious and afraid. A dear friend sent me a link to Max Lucado's new book FEARLESS. It touched my heart and reminded me to look for God's direction (not my own strength) and to remember that Jesus repeatedly told his disciples (and us) "Do not be afraid!"
I am clinging Lord... help me to hang on to your promises and not to my feeble fear!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. " John 14:27