Well, today is our anniversary. We have been married 14 years. Lots of ups and downs in those years so far. Whoever coined the term "wedded bliss" is either a liar or wasn't married. LOL Marriage is lots of hard work and loving each other when neither of you deserves it. I am so glad that T is my husband. He is truly my best friend and the only person who mostly "gets" who I am. But neither of us is perfect and there are times where I would like a few hours away. Mostly though I would like a few hours away with him. Between both of us working different hours, the girlie and the computer... I feel that we don't see each other as much as I would like. I think that is a stage in marriage that goes along with having kids though.
I am still pretty heartbroken about Amy. I cry multiple times a day. I haven't taken a nap in 3 days because she had been in the habit of coming in my room with me and napping on the floor by our bed. I just can't face being alone at naptime right now. And it helps me to sleep hard at night because I am so tired. I still can't look out the back door into her room. I think that I hear her collar jingle outside and think that we should go get her and let her in to be with us. I miss feeding and watering her every day. She was such a part of my life for 9 years that I am just wounded. I don't know how long it will hurt like this. I may have an Amy sized hole in my heart for the rest of my life. At least there will be a scar there. Right now the wound is so fresh and open that functioning around here is difficult. She was truly a part of our family and everything around the house, yard and neighborhood reminds me of her. I was driving home from a nursing home today and started crying because the drive home was part of our walking route with her. The hole in my heart is weeping... I love you so much Amy Dog! I love this quote and it is now painful... rather appropriate for an anniversary and grieving a death today.
"Dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening, love like you have never been hurt"