Excited

I did visit the birthing center 20 minutes away and am pretty excited. It is a small place and she doesn't push the traditional medicine ways of doing things so much. She wouldn't object (like the hospital RNs and MDs) about Vit K and Hep B if we research and decide to hold off on some of those. Also, I wouldn't be tied to a bed and a monitor. I think it is at least worth having T & H visit with me. I could take H to appointments and those are fixin' to ramp up. T has been taking off and coming home to keep H but it will soon be a pain with every 2 week appointments from weeks 28-36. Not the only reason to do birthing center but certainly makes me think. Also though, it costs $2000 cash to birth at the center. Our hospital birth would cost $300 due to insurance. Our insurance won't cover the birthing center at all, pretty sure of that. So, lots to think about and hopefully I can take T & H over to check the place out next Monday.

H has been playing with the soap in the shower and has been very cranky for about a week. I finally caught her playing with it last night and it was an "ah ha" moment to figure out what had been causing the misery. I am off to bed. Been having wild and crazy dreams and leg cramps a lot lately while sleeping.

Oh my tired old self...

I can only imagine how tired I will be in 10 weeks. Somehow I managed to work 40 hours weekly while pregnant with H. But this time around, I struggle to work 30 (some weeks). Probably because I am trying to school H, cook every bloomin' thing we eat, do park day/coop and spend 2-3 hours outside every day. But I sure am tired. I have a meeting tonight and just don't want to go. I am sitting here struggling to muster the energy to start supper before I go. We did do school work this morning and I baked chippies all morning (8 trays). So at least we have chips to eat. Now H wants more muffins. *drags backside* I explained that I just can't do them until tomorrow. We also need to go up and see T's parents this week. At least it is spring break and we don't have coop or park day. And I don't work Friday this week. Ah, I love the 2 day weekends at work!

I called the birthing center in the next town over and they have their "visitation" on Monday afternoons. I am debating about going next week. I don't think I have anything to lose by going. The midwife will visit with me, talk to me about her philosophies and talk costs. We will see how we are doing on Monday afternoon next week. Something to think about and ponder. I sure do wish the older truck would sell. I would rather cancel the insurance and have the money in the savings account. Guess I should just keep praying!

Friday, Almost March

Amazing that we only have 1 day of February left! Today was busy... baking this morning, cutting up books outside for laminating, lunch and then run to park day and keep an eye on H at the park. I did get to knit on and off at the park so that was productive. H just loves park day, getting to play and run with her friends. Two days a week (coop and park day) keep her pretty happy with social time. I miss the time at home but she needs the interaction with other kids and playing so that is what we do. It is hard to find the time and energy to keep up with the cooking and freezing all week and work all weekend. The pregnancy has just made me more tired and I don' t have the energy to go all day. I can't keep the laundry folded, food baked/cooked, the floor swept, H busy and go to work on the weekends. Not enough time!

I have started shorties for Little One and time will tell how I do. I have gotten through the waist band and the short rows. I am totally nervous about splitting for the legs and gusset but will just attempt those when I come to them on the pattern. They are pretty though and I will post pics when I get a little more done and a picture taken.

Off to bed with me!

Coop/School

H has been doing our local inclusive HS group coop starting in January. She loves "school" so much that it is cute to see. She says that Monday is the longest day now because school is on Tuesday and she loves school. =D The mamas there are good about not wearing perfume or scented stuff. We still wear our masks inside but she gets to do a movement class (PE) and a storybook class. She is thrilled to get to be a part of this group and I am happy for her to get to participate. We do struggle on Tuesday afternoons though. Today, we stayed 3 hours, instead of 2, to participate in the Valentine celebration. I was headache-y and taking no cr*p as we were leaving and she spent the afternoon on the couch. She kept saying, "I am just so tired Mommy" and "why do I feel bad?" So we talked about needing to leave after 2 hours and that it is good that her PE class is one of those hours. She can't take 2 hours of crafts, glue and paper.

Little One is kicking more and more these days. T felt some kicks 3 nights ago and H got to feel a kick yesterday. H didn't want to sit and wait for the kicks though. She just wanted me to tell her when one was coming... like I can predict that. LOL

I am beat tonight and am off to bed. I got no nap due to snuggling with the sad girl on the couch. But there is no place I would rather be than snuggling with my girl. I am so glad that she still loves me and loves to snuggle.

More Pictures of the Little One

Or there will be when T gets the US photos scanned. I had the ultrasound today and this little one has 2 hands, 2 feet, 2 legs, 2 arms and 1 head. ;) We chose not to find out what gender I am carrying. We like the surprise. There are many times where it would be easier to just find out so I can buy gender specific dipes and clothing. But I also love the wait and the anticipation of meeting our little one. We also probably won't settle on names until we meet him or her either. I liked meeting H before naming her. We had boy and girl names picked out but she didn't fit the girl name so she got her own. I feel that we are having a girl but am trying to shy away from gender specific stuff, just in case. That being said, I have no problem putting flowery or pink dipes on a boy or cars/blue on a girl. The clothes have to be gender neutral so the coming home outfit is more dicey but the dipes don't matter.

The ultrasound was great to see, arms and legs waving all about. Amazing that all those moves are in there and I can't feel but a few of them. Grow, Little One, grow! Maybe I will change my tune come about June of this year. ;) But for right now, bring it on!

Praise God for our precious little one and for the big one we already love and have! Such precious gifts!

This is real!

The little one has kicked me! For the last week, I have been feeling the spinning feeling. That is the first thing that I felt with H as well. The feeling happens at night when I lay down to go to bed. But last night, I was knitting and listening to ESPN radio. Suddenly I had kicks! The whirling was there as well but actual kicks! Whoot! This now feels real... less like just sick feeling and tired. I think that I am just waiting for it all to disappear and leave me heartbroken. But feeling the little one moving is just amazing. It was my totally favorite part of being pregnant with H as I felt like I got to interact with her instead of just carry her. I love feeling babies move!

Moving on...

This pregnancy has moved on into the second trimester. The constant nausea has improved (around week 15) to just me being a picky eater. I have gained 5 pounds total and am starting to "pooch," according to my family. ;) I have felt a few turning movements but no definitive jabs or kicks yet. I am still taking a nap every afternoon when I am home. I am almost ready for maternity clothing, which is another problem... or the lack of the clothing is a problem.

I am starting to feel nervous about this baby. H's infancy was such a difficult time for us. Life was truly harder than I had ever experienced. I didn't know how much watching your child suffer could wear on you and bring you flat on your face before God. I have been trying to be cautious about expectations with this pregnancy. I didn't want to get too attached (stupid, I know), if something happened to the baby. But we are at 16+ weeks and still here. I pray every day for God to help our baby to grow strong and healthy. I truly don't care what flavor we have (chocolate or vanilla LOL) but I dream of a happy babe that we can enjoy. That is my hope and prayer right now for this little one.

I am still working the usual amount but am totally enjoying taking 1 weekend off per month. It is wonderful to feel "normal" and all be home together. And I get to get rested up and sleeping on a normal schedule for about 1.5 weeks before returning to work.

H and I started going to a coop homeschool last week. She did well, though we only stayed for 1 class and they were outside a lot. This week she will do the movement class as well as stay for the storytelling class. We will see how we do. She is totally thrilled with getting to participate. And I am thrilled for her. The other moms make extra effort to not wear perfume or smelly stuff. I would love to try to return to church but all the perfume and getting dressed up is probably more than she and I can do right now. Little steps are progress for us!

I am going to sign off for tonight. I worked 3 days this weekend, Fri/Sat/Sun, and am bushed. I love staying home with my H and am looking forward to this week.